Awareness Is the first step towards change. If you are aware of the fact that you have been sabotaging yourself, that is positive, because when you know you’re resisting change, you can do something about it. If you think it’s everyone else’s fault or if you don’t know why it’s happening, you are stuck with no options.
Many of us realize that we sabotage ourselves by looking back in time but we need to heighten our level of awareness so we can learn to identify and stop sabotage before we engage in it. In the interim we can catch ourselves in the middle of sabotage and change our actions before we do any serious damage.
For example, if we know that we are eating ice cream because we want to sabotage ourselves, we can stop in the middle of eating it and put it away or throw it away, thereby doing less damage than we would have if we finished the whole thing.
What’s familiar is comfortable, even if it’s unhealthy or self-defeating. When you experience resistance, it’s a good clue that change is happening. If things were staying the same, there would be no reason for resistance.
It’s important not to berate yourself when you engage in self-defeating behavior because that just gives the sabotage more power. When we sabotage ourselves because we don’t believe we deserve good things, beating ourselves up reinforces that idea which is counter-productive to our goals.
Below are some signs of self-sabotage and resistance. Use this list to heighten your own awareness of how you might be sabotaging your success. In future blogs I will show you how you can stop self-sabotage. Subscribe here if you want more help with overcoming self-sabotage. You can also purchase the book From Sabotage to Success and/or attend a workshop to help you overcome self-sabotage. See details below.
Sabotaging Behaviors and Attitudes:
Placing unrealistic expectations on yourself, Physical illness, Being “too busy”, Fear, Looking at differences, Perfectionism, Wasting time, Refusing to pay attention
ASSUMPTIONS like:
“It wouldn’t do any good anyway”, “They couldn’t help me with my problem”, “My case is different”, “It will work itself out”
EXCUSES like:
“It’s too far to drive”, “It will take too long”, “I’m too old, young, fat, thin, short, tall, lazy, strong, weak, dumb, smart, poor, worthless, serious”, “I’ll do it later”
DENIAL such as:
“There’s nothing wrong with me”, “Other people do this and it’s okay for them”, “I was all right last time I did it”
FEAR such as:
“I’m not ready yet”, “I might fail”, “I don’t know enough”, “I don’t want anyone to know I have a problem”, “I might lose my friends”
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For more about how to overcome self-sabotage, purchase the book From Sabotage to Success.
If you’d like a more in-depth description of each step with details on what to do to apply the steps to your life, subscribe to this blog. I will post blogs about these six steps from now until May 31. If you live near Long Beach, CA, consider attending the six week workshop series with the same title. It begins on June 1.
Six Steps From Sabotage to Success
Everyday Zen Relaxation Studio
3740 Atlantic Blvd. Suite 201
Long Beach CA 90807
Monday nights June 1-July 6, 2009
6:30-8:30 p.m.
Cost – $60 for the entire series + $25 materials fee or $15 per week
Click here to download the color brochure for this workshop series
Space is limited.
Call 562-305-3434 to reserve a spot or pre-register for the entire series on-line today. Cost $60 for six weeks.
Tags: changing behaviors, childhood abuse, dysfunctional, overcoming, self-defeating behaviors, Self-sabotage, self-worth, unworthiness
[...] I will post a series of blogs titled Six Steps From Sabotage to Success. The first in the series, Awareness is the First Step Toward Change is available now. In June I’ll be hosting a six week workshop series by the same name in Long [...]
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